I hope everyone has their oven mitts on right now because I’m about to hit you with a flaming hot take/conspiracy fresh off the burners: Alex Avila hates his dad. And he has for a long time.

If you are unaware, Alex Avila’s dad is Al Avila, the General Manager of our Detroit Tigers. And what’s crazy about this almost 100% positive conspiracy theory is the REASON Alex hates his dad. Alex hates his dad because he hates the sport of baseball, something that his father pressured him into doing his whole life. Pressured him all the way up to the Major Leagues and made him play for the very team he works for.

Alex: “But dad! I don’t wanna play baseball this summer!”

Dad: “You’re going to play for the Detroit Tigers this season and you’re going to LIKE IT!”

What’s my proof? His disinterested facial expression whilst playing the sport today and dating all the back to when he entered the league with Detroit back in 2009.

**long sigh** “ugh, now I have to run…”

“Can I go home now…”

“Do we HAVE to talk about baseball ALL the time?”

“Can I take this costume off now?”

The only thing that kept Alex going was his hefty salary and the support of Dave Dombroski. Dombro was well aware of Alex’s disdain for his dad/the sport of baseball but took good care of Alex salary-wise. This all changed at the conclusion of the 2015 season, when Dave Dombroski would get fired and go to Boston, and Poppa Al would take the reigns of General Manger of our Detroit Tigers.

Al’s first move?- to NOT pursue HIS OWN SON in free agency. That’s right. In Al’s first year as Tigers GM, he looked his son dead in the eyes and said “Even though I made you play this game your entire life and now you have no other career options, I’m going to make zero effort whatsoever to even consider signing you to my team. And there’s nothing you can do about it you pansy little SHIT.”

Alex, heartbroken, and lacking skills necessary to work in any other industry decided to give a giant middle finger to his Dad and sign with division rival, Chicago.

Via CSN Chicago:

When Avila first signed with the White Sox, one of the first things he did was taunt his father, Al Avila, who’s the Tigers’ executive vice president of baseball operations and general manager.

“Right after I signed (with the White Sox), I called (my dad) and said ‘Hey I’m signing with the White Sox.’ I can’t wait to kick your ass.”

Fast forward to today and you’ll see Alex is back with the Tigers. After spending a year in Chicago, family relations between the Avila’s crumbled to shit. And Poppa Al could not stand hearing his wife bitch at him day after day and night after night about how he essentially alienated their son from the family. Seriously. She bitched up a storm the size of Katrina. Due to relentlessly extensive complaining by Momma Avila, Alex was signed to a 1-year, 2 million dollar contract as a backup catcher with the Tigers at the conclusion of the 2016 season, much to the dismay of GM Poppa Al.

Alex, knowing this, has made it his mission to make his father look like a complete ass-hat for letting him go after the 2015 season, ceremoniously declaring the 2017 season as his “Fuck You Dad” Tour.

30 Cities. 7 Months. 1 Mediocre Back-Up Catcher playing way better than anyone could have ever anticipated.

Alex is snapping dicks off right now. Batting a cool .368 with 4 home runs, 14 RBI’s, and a .649 slugging percentage in only 57 at bats…as the BACKUP catcher. Many are calling for him to be the starter, and it seems like that may come to fruition. You can see Alex mouthing “fuck you dad,” with each hit he gets and every runner he catches stealing.

Christmas won’t be easy this year at the Avila home, but at least Alex has found solace in completely cramming it in his father’s face for now.***

Stay tuned. Alex Avila’s “Fuck You Dad” Tour is coming to a city near you. #eatemup 🍾

 – Frank

***literally almost everything I’ve stated in this article was completely made up.