Anibal Sanchez, the Detroit Tigers 16 million dollar meatball delivery man will make his first start of the 2017 season tonight on the road vs Seattle.

Sanchez has earned this Major League start after four Minor League starts of mediocre pitching.

– Detroit Free Press

That quote is real. Here is more from the Free Press on Sanchez’s dick wiggle down in the minors:

“We were trying to make a few changes and repeat a delivery that’s going to be consistent on all his pitches,” Mud Hens pitching coach Jeff Pico said before Sunday’s 6-5 win over Durham. “It’s a short sample size, but he was throwing the ball OK. He’s throwing strikes. He’s been working hard. He’s got a good attitude. I hope he does well.”

Sanchez made four starts for the Mud Hens, compiling an 0-2 record, 4.60 ERA and 1.40 WHIP in 15 2/3 innings. He allowed eight earned runs on 17 hits, including three home runs, and five walks. He struck out 20.

So the good news is that he’s got a good attitude, and the minor league coach is rooting for him. The bad news is that he’s become an absolute dogshit excuse for a pitcher, has an ERA standing firmly at 9.00 and he’s currently under a 5 year, 80 MILLION contract through 2018.

– Bless You Boys

This is the end. With this decision to give Anibal Sanchez the start tonight, the 2017 Detroit Tigers are officially waving the white flag of surrender, and all of us as fans should do the same. I’m not sure if any of you got eyes on yesterday’s shit storm of a game which fucked up thousands upon thousands of loving dads’ Father’s Day across Metro Detroit, but that game in and of itself was enough to believe the Tigers are dead to rights. THEN with the announcement that Asschez would be getting the nod on the West Coast today was just kicking us while were down.

I don’t know who is pulling the strings on this decision, but the only smart part about it was scheduling him to pitch a road game 2,400 miles away from Detroit. Because when Anisack gives up 7 runs by the 4th inning today at least he won’t be showered with boo’s, beer bottles, and hand grenades; only the resounding cheers of Seattle Mariner fans and an FSN Detroit Wallside Windows pitching change…and me sending my remote through the center of my TV.

The only bright spot about this team is my unwavering, longtime friendship with Justin Verlander.

#EatEmUp #BlowEmUp 🍾

– Frank