Being the idiot that I am, I held on to the fruitless hope that our Detroit Red Wings would miraculously turn their season around, make the playoffs, maybe surprise some people in the first round yada yada yada. But instead, we’re #StillInLast trailing the piss-shit Buffalo Sabres in the Atlantic and are officially selling at the deadline for the first time in a quarter century.

This Red Wings + Lions misery hangover coupled with the fact that no teams matter in the NBA outside of the Cavs and Warriors had me prettttttttyyyyy, pretty bummed out about my sports prospects for 2017. But the other day a notification popped up on my phone that I hadn’t seen since early October:

I looked at my phone and it was like I forgot baseball season was happening this year. Like “oh yeah, we still got that.” And while many people are dogging the Tigers offseason (rightfully so), the Tigs are probably the best team we have in Detroit right now, and realistically are our best shot at a championship. Deep breath.

I know I’m in an unpopular crowd being a believer that Detroit CAN compete for the Central and CAN make AND compete in the playoffs… then I got these three noties on my phone…

and I was turned full blown World Series contender BELIEVER. What more do you need outside of game like four Spring Training season back-to-back-to-back jacks to believe our Tiggies are no doubt going to sweep the Cubs 4-0 in the October Classic in the Fall of 2017? I mean, fucking BROMINE got the party started- WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR?

This is all we got right now outside of rooting for a complete Red Wings fire sale, so I’m going all in on it.

Sure we might not have a solidified center fielder and we are essentially the exact same playoff missing, underachieving roster as last year but damn it this is the best we have right now.

And the claims that Kate Upton and JV don’t have sex is total bullshit. I have nothing to back that claim up besides like…c’mon.

Let’s go Tigers. Let’s go Bromine. World Series 2017. 🍾

– Frank