I’m a few days late on this one but idk deal with it.

Anyone remember this video? It was the tote of the town when the Wings drafted this cat 35th overall in 2011. The video is recklessly/disrespectfully titled Tomas Jurco the Magician. During the video Jurco is standing in an empty locker room, speaking broken English and doing a bunch of flippy do’s with the puck. Flippy do’s that Pavel Datsyuk has probably been doing since he was a young мальчик in Russia. Hey! Look at that! He even got one in the garbage can. Great.

At the end young Tomas even says he’s not just trying to be a good stick handler off the ice but also a good hockey player on it. Which in theory is a great thought process and exactly what you’d want to hear out of a top 40 draft pick, but unfortunately Jurco’s career (thus far) can be perfectly summed up by the only relevant NHL player in this video around the :45 second mark when Jonathan Huberdeau calls Tomas Jurco “a YouTube guy.”

Jurco was a healthy scratch most of this season, with goose eggs across the board (0 goals, 0 assists, 0 points), that is why it is an absolute god-sent miracle the Wings were able to recently ship this Pavel wannabe to Chicago for a 3rd rounder. I really think the Bowman combination (Stan, GM, and Scotty, head of hockey operations) were really just doing Kenny Holland and the Red Wings franchise that helped Scotty win three Stanley Cups a real solid.

Ken Holland: “Scotty, it’s Ken. We’re hurting over here. I got Ericsson till like 2035 and I essentially gave you Hossa when I decided Franzen was the greatest forward in Red Wing history and gave him a billion dollars over 100 years. He can’t even sit in a well lit room his concussions are so bad let alone play hockey. Help me out, wouldja bud?”

Scotty Bowman: Ahhhhhhhhhh Kennny I don’t kn…..

Ken: ‘Member 2002

Scotty: Give me the YouTube guy.

Ken: You’re the best.

Hey and honestly, good for Jurco. Jumped on one of the best teams in the NHL and the closest thing hockey has to an NHL dynasty right now (PUKE one thousand times), but that’s the NHL we’re in right now. Here’s to 2018. #lgrw 🍾

– Frank