The following is a REAL ad on Craigslist right now. Check this shit out

Wanted: Catfish Thrower for 5/16 or 5/18 Preds Home Game

Background: I unwisely bet against my wise colleagues that if the Preds made it to the 3rd round, I would throw a catfish on the ice. However, when the time came to become an immortal, I backed down and realized I was deathly allergic to catfish – unwilling to make good on the bet and grab the brass ring of celebrity. I was offered a choice: catfish trampstamp, or hire a catfish thrower. I chose the latter.

Qualifications: Sufficient strength to chuck a 2lb catfish over the glass. Stones large enough to stand there and fire up the crowd after the guts have splattered over the ice. Bravery necessary to smuggle a slimy dead catfish saran-wrapped to your belly through security. Willingness to be a God and go down in Preds history.Pay: Minimally $75, but let’s discuss; I’m open to trades. You must already have a ticket. I provide the catfish and saran wrap.

Applications: Applications must be received by mid-night Monday the 15th. Contact via text only. Bonus points awarded for video applications.Contact: 615-517- 6 eight 66

Thank you,
Chris

Link to advertisement: https://nashville.craigslist.org/crg/6128489060.html

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So yeah, I know this has nothing to do with Detroit sports but when the Wings are out of the playoffs, I still need playoff hockey in my life and these Nashville Predators have made it really easy to hop on their bandwagon for 2017. Today they sealed their fate as my favorite team left in the NHL playoffs. Not only did they completely monkey pump Detroit’s arch rival Chicago in the first round in four games, they are now showing me that they have real, hard-core fans. This kind of Craigslist ad sounds like it would come from a bro out of Detroit, Boston, Minnesota, or any of the Canadian teams- not Nashville. But alas, Music City is dedicated to their Preds and it shines through with conviction via “Chris” and his awesome Craigslist ad.

Let’s start from the top- “Chris” made the bet before the third round, and in my brain I like to picture that he made this bet before round 1, game 1 of the playoffs. Before playoff action even started. I picture “Chris” at some Thursday work happy hour before the puck dropped on the NHL playoffs just completely bombed. He’s had his eye on Becca who works in his office as an Account Manager for months now. He’s flirted on and off but during this work happy hour he’s really cooking. Everything he is saying is funny and he’s like 6 whiskey-nothings deep. There’s some Chicago bros who work in his office razzing “Chris” because he’s a Preds fan- but “Chris” won’t back down. He’s getting loud and slurring a little bit and makes the bold claim that not only will the Preds beat Chicago in the first round, they’ll thunder smash whoever they draw in the second round and cruise to the Western Conference Finals. Becca, who is watching this exchange transpire, is FLOORED by his confidence. The Chicago bros (total douche bags) say “Okay Preds loser dork, if you really have that much confidence, put a wager on it.”

“Chris” who is now oozing with confidence fires back with “Fine then pussies! When Nashville makes it to the third round, I’ll huck a fuckin’ dead catfish onto the ice at their first home game.”

Chicago bros: “You’re on queer!”

Becca has now fainted.

Fast forward a month now and it’s time for “Chris” to man up and do this. Completely forgetting that he’ll literally DIE if he goes within 100 yards of a catfish he strikes up a deal with the Chicago bros, landing him at the ad you read above.

I’m so proud of this Nashville hockey fan completely understanding the importance of the task he’s willing to pay someone to do to fulfill his bet/bang Becca.

•  However, when the time came to become an immortal, I backed down and realized I was deathly allergic to catfish. -unwilling to make good on the bet and grab the brass ring of celebrity.
  • He knows tossing an animal onto a professional sheet of ice during the Western Conference Final is no foam finger waving pansy shit. This is the Cup. And once you smuggle a scummy deceased sea creature into an arena and wait for the perfect time to hurl it on the ice you really do become a rink celebrity and enter in the realm of the immortals.
• Qualifications: Sufficient strength to chuck a 2lb catfish over the glass. Stones large enough to stand there and fire up the crowd after the guts have splattered over the ice. Bravery necessary to smuggle a slimy dead catfish saran-wrapped to your belly through security. Willingness to be a God and go down in Preds history.
  • This is absolutely A++. Yes two +’s. The qualifications couldn’t have been better. What I wrote above is only emphasized here but with much more compelling literature. He lays it out for you- that this isn’t for the faint of heart and he speaks right to his target audience. He needs a Nashville Predators solider to complete this task. He uses words like CHUCK, BRAVERY, FIRE UP, GUTS, SPLATTERED, SMUGGLE, SLIMEY, DEAD, SECURITY, GOD and HISTORY. Those are literally the words that a king would use in his pre-battle speech for the Iron Throne. He uses the phrase “stones” when referring to balls/gusto. I really believe “Chris” has the potential to be my best friend.
• I provide the catfish and saran wrap.
  • Letting the suitor know the work is already 50% done. I have half a mind to zip down to Nashville after work and take “Chris” up on this bet.

“Chris” fucking gets it. And he proved to me, and I hope the rest of the hockey world, that Nashville fans are not content with just making the third round. They want blood. And even more- they want the Cup. #lrgw 🍾

PS- this Catfish tossing tradition was admittedly taken/borrowed/mimicked from our very own Detroit Red Wings.

Fan traditions

Fans of the Nashville Predators have modified the octopus-throwing tradition of Detroit Red Wings fans to show their support: on occasion, a fan will throw a catfish onto the ice. The Tennessean newspaper of Nashville cites the first instance of this as being on October 30, 2003. At least four catfish were thrown onto the ice after the first Nashville goal on November 13, 2003. – via Wikipedia.