We’ve seen these type of Twitter accounts before going after athletes for scoring/hitting droughts in the past. When a player gets on a scoring/hitting drought, a Twitter account is made with the title “Did ______ Score/Get A Hit?” and then every Tweet from there is “No” until they get a hit/score a goal, then they tweet “Yes.” Fucking rocket science. But if you’re still confused here is one that was made for Stephen Drew as a member of the Red Sox back in 2013:

So naturally our #StillInLast Detroit Red Wings have joined this list of players in droughts to have their own Twitter account made for them, enter: Riley Sheahan.

The description of the account is so painfully simplistic and to the point that you really just gotta hope Riley doesn’t get eyes on this because if he does he might send himself into a trust fall down the Joe Louis stairs. Then, even if you survive the straight-to-the-point profile description, the account owner twists the knife a little further with Riley’s stat line – 0G : 9A : 9P. Yikes. The only mercy this profile held back on was Sheahan’s +/- which currently sits at a robust -19. 😕

But outside of just posting “No, no, no” (which he’s does a billion times) the manager of this account has now moved to complete savagery and really started to dig in on #15, with posts like….

Brutal. And if you guys remember Aaron Downey was put on the Wings to just throw hands and beat ass. He might as well have not even brought a stick to the games. So it’s not like Riley can look at that stat for some good company or reassurance. The owner of this account has even gone into minor sweepstakes to gain a stronger following, knowing the odds are in his favor:

But worst of all, he’s gone to video. Pairing the Academy Award winning Titanic soundtrack with that of Riley’s last goal. Which happened to be a text book garbage kinda-clipped-the-jersey geno, almost 11 months ago…

#NoChill. You’d think this account manager gets paid everyday Sheahan doesn’t bury one.

On one hand you gotta feel for the guy (Sheahan). When I go on a scoring drought in BEER LEAGUE (happens often) I want to lay down in traffic, and I don’t get paid or play in front of ~20 thousand people a night, I can’t imagine what he’s going through, especially being penciled into the lineup 58 out of 60 games played this season. On the other hand it’s like “hey, with your signing bonus you’re making over 2 million this season plus you were a first round pick (21st overall back in 2010) so whyyyyyyyy don’t you just figure it out and find the back of the net for fuck sake?”

Whatever, hang in there kid. You got 22 more games to bury one.

#lgrw 🍾