Fuckin yuck. Yuuuuuuuck. YUCK. Last night we lost 3-2 to East Lake Dental Group or something. I thought they were a new team to the league, but it turns out they are just Troy Metro Agency, who has been in the league as long as we have, with a new name. We lost to East Troy Metro Dental Lake Agency 3-2 last night, with the game winning goal coming with 1:17 left in the third period, after the Necks had tied the game just minutes prior.

This is not a game we should have lost nor a team we should lose to. Last year when the Longnecks were absolute dog shit and losing 4 out of every 5 games we managed to beat this team every time, so to come out last night with a stronger roster and a chance to go above .500, to take a shit was disappointing to say the least.

We were focused on just about everything last night except winning the hockey game. We let outside factors and minor inconveniences dictate our approach and attitude toward the game. Namely, the uniforms. This year our uni’s are black. Troy Dental Metro Lake Group is deep purple, like old Mighty Ducks purple. So the uni’s fuckin looked a like and it was confusing. But we let this minor inconvenience consume our brains for the first period. Lotta bitching. As opposed to just figuring it out and realizing everyone out there had to deal with it, we cried. We cried too much to the point that Hoon & Animal House lead the charge on physically going into the locker room, grabbing a bunch of white jerseys out of our bags, and giving them to the other team to wear. I’m not kidding.

For a list of player descriptions click here, or here

Let’s recap. The two teams jerseys looked alike. Members of the Longnecks didn’t like it. So after the first period we grabbed jerseys in our bags and MADE THE OTHER TEAM WEAR OUR JERSEYS. And the ironic crux here is that 90% of the jerseys given to the other team were Longnecks jerseys of seasons past. So the second and third was just a fucking Longneck on Longneck fiasco. It was a blend of white yellow and black that I am not even sure it it helped with the the jersey confusion.

In addition to that, there was a dude on the other team who wouldn’t/didn’t wear the jerseys we brought out to him. So they had one invisible, incognito, golden snitch just lurking out there that we kept giving turnovers to because he was still wearing a dark jersey. So we essentially took a disadvantage that both teams had to deal with into just a disadvantage for us. And once the Great Jersey Change of 2019 was complete….we just bitched about that one kid who was still in dark! ALL THE WHILE WE’RE TRAILING 2-1 TO A TEAM WE SHOULD’VE BEEN BLOWING TO SMITHEREENS. FUCK.

So yeah, we lost the fucking game. 3-2. They scored in the first making it 1-0. In the second we traded goals making it 2-1 to start the third. We scored with about 5 or so left in the third making it 2-2…then with 1:17 left, the fucking golden snitch in the dark jersey on Lake Dental buried a wrap around. Necks lose. We legit had about 35 shots on net, hit posts, got robbed and everything in between. It was a wildly frustrating game. A game I think we win 9 times out of 10.

We lost to a team wearing our own fucking jerseys. That’s just plain stupid.

Game Notes: 

The Nexus Spine & Sport Backbone Performance of the Game goes to the Golden Snitch (guy who wore dark the whole game). I think he had two goals and his refusal to switch jerseys proved beneficial and apparently an insurmountable mind fuck to the Longnecks.

The Zim’s Vodka Smoothest Move of the Game goes to that fucking Golden Snitch guy again. He had that wrap around I told you about to win the game. This is dumb I’m not enjoying this.

The Fox Hills Chrysler Jeep Trail Rated Tough Performance goes to no one on the Longnecks. We all cried too much about jersey color to even be named in the same sentence as tough.

The Bowline Financial Calculated Risk of the Game goes to Hoon for leading the charge on the mid-game uniform change. It really worked out in our favor. It’s always helpful when you take a level playing field and swing it in the opponents advantage. A+ work dude please let me know if you have any other Pontiac Game Changing Performance ideas in your back pocket.

Man Hands and Frank scored. Who gives a shit.

Necks week we play Brighton Chrysler, who are the back to back defending league champs. So we better get out HEADS out of our ASSES if we’re going save FACE and get back to .500.

Fuckin a.

Until necks week.

#SYNO #NeckNation #IsItThursdayYet? 🦒

– Frank