Last night’s loss was brought to you in part by Fox Hills Chrysler Jeep…Fox Hills Chrysler Jeep, where they making finding you a new car a breeze! 

In a night that was pretty much fucked from the get-go, the Longnecks lost to a first year team, The 300-Footers, 5-2.

It was very much like Monday Night Football between the Jets and the Lions. A lot of hype, a lot of excitement, a ton of confidence, an early lead….but a blowout loss as the end result.

In the locker room before the game the boys were buzzing like bees. Slapping hands, bumping music, grabbing ass, taking jabs at each other….guys being dudes really. Guys being dudes excited to kick some ass and play some hockey. But joy and excitement quickly turned to confusion and disorganization when I announced that Dee’s Sporting Goods shop in Roseville failed to complete our jersey order in time, and that we would have to wear our jerseys from last year.

This caused a panic. As we learned very quickly that four players on the team did not have the matching yellow jersey, and two players did not bring a jersey at all. It was a mess. In retrospect, even if you think someone is going to provide you a jersey, any sensible hockey player who has played the game before always carries a light and a dark jersey in their bag at all times. To go to a skate without a jersey in your bag at all is borderline insane.

So we opened night one wearing our yellows….and our blacks. A mess really.

 

In addition to the wardrobe malfunction, I knew it was also a bad omen when I skated out for warm-ups with the wrong stick. I grabbed a teammates stick and being the 5’8 individual I am, I quickly realized that the stick I had was the same height as me and had to retreat back to the locker room to get my own stick. Embarrassing. I hadn’t even had any beer at this point.

A sluggish start was anticipated for the first game of the season, and while we were slow we weren’t terrible…and even opened up scoring with a top shelf slot shot from #23 for an early 1-0 in the first. Now, just so you know, I will do a player profile here within the week so you can get a feel for who is who on this team. But #23 maybe scored 2 or 3 goals last year….and I don’t think he had one for the last 15 games of the season. So when he buried last night, we went into an embarrassing celly we all could have done without. But good for him. He was excited and I probably would have done the same thing.

After going up 1-0 it was all down hill from there. We were playing some grizzled old vets who moved the puck like they had been playing together for years. They buried 5 straight goals en route to a Longneck demise. #92 buried late in the third for the Necks on a very nice drive in from the blue line, beating a couple of defenders and sliding the puck under the pillows of the opposing goalie, but it was all for naught, as the game was already out of reach.

After the game we crushed beers in the parking lot and talked about how much we hate the Lions. Standard stuff. I assured everyone that I wasn’t even in the same zip code of the panic button and the level of concern is near 0. Disappointing, sure. Devastating, hell no.

The Necks will find their groove and the championship will soon be ours. NBD. #SYNO 🍾

– Frank