Now look. I’m not gonna go headlong into this because it’s almost the weekend and I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s Thursday evening/Friday. But, I’m a Sparty, and it would be pretty chickenshit of me, the guy who has a Detroit/Michigan-sports-based media company, not to talk about his alma mater’s football coach getting canned (excuse me, suspended) 4 years into his 10 year bajillion dollar contract.

So here’s what I’ll say. Tucker is a moron. There is a ton of he-said, she-said going on with these accusations and I truly believe some of it’s true and some of it’s fabricated. I don’t believe Mel 100% and I don’t believe Brenda Tracy 100%.

What I do believe is that if you are given a 95 MILLION DOLLAR contract over the course of a decade, I believe you should do everything in your power to 1. Avoid any actions that could potentially lead to you “fumbling the bag” as the kids say and 2. try and do the best job you possibly can, which involves avoiding distractions and staying focused.

Now sure, this advice is coming from a guy who has never coached football at any level nor have I ever signed a 10-year, 95 million dollar contact. So it’s entirely fair that what I’m saying is a lot harder to do than meets the eye.

But guess what? I’m just some asshole with a website and in my opinion when my former school, a place I love, gives you that big of a contract and that big of a responsibility, you should just do your god damn job. Maybe don’t jerk off on the phone when talking to rape victim who also happens to be a vendor for the school advocating on behalf of rape victims in a collegiate athletic atmosphere, yeah?

MAYBE I’M NUTS BUT THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A CRAZY ASK AT THE TUNE OF 95 MILLION. Sheesh. Damn it.

I’m so mad at Tucker. Everyone is laughing at us. ESPN is laughing. Michigan is pointing in addition to laughing. And Colorado? Oh god. Colorado is HOWLING to the moon and playing Karma by Taylor Swift on repeat as Deion is taking college football by storm.

Meanwhile, our guy, Big Tuck, prepares for his phone crank hearing.

Tuck Comin’. Tuck Commith. Tuck Came. The jokes write themselves.

Sidebar- love Harlon Barnett and I give him nothing but my undying support in this difficult spot he’s been put in. Be the Storm, Harlon. Beat Washington. Go Green.

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