MLB action kicked off today and I started it out by promptly losing my first bet of the season in the first game of the season, taking the Yankees money line @ Tampa Bay. Gotta love betting baseball. There’s 200 games a day and the lines mean absolutely nothing. Also, there’s a healthy dosage of day games so when you’re bored at the shit job you hate you can lose $50 dollars before the work day is even over. Always fun sweating it out watching the GameCast of a baseball game between two teams you couldn’t give a fuck less about while a co-worker asks you if you’re doing okay.

With that being said, the MLB season is a long one, 162 games for 30 different teams, which means a lot of opportunities to gamble/cry yourself to sleep, so right now we’re going to walk you through our favorite bets to take before the season (for the majority of teams) even starts.

Detroit Tigers O/U Wins: 82.5 wins = OVER

I’d be a pretty big pussy/hypocrite if I didn’t take this one. If I truly believe they can win the division, which I really do, 82 wins won’t get them there. If this softball style lineup can stay healthy and we can find a little of consistency with our pitching, there is no reason we shouldn’t be playing at a more than .500 clip. I have to bet on my home team and I sure as shit I’m not going to bet against them, ever. Tigers lock this one up easily.

Texas Rangers O/U Wins: 85.5 wins = OVER

This is one of those that you’re kinda like weirded out at why it is only set at 85.5. The Rangers cleared 95 last year, easily winning their division by 9 games. The Mariners and Astros could give Texas some trouble this year, but even when Houston is a good team I still give them zero credit. That is based off absolutely nothing accept- “You’re the Astros, you can’t be good. Fuck off.” I hold that same theory with the Cleveland Indians and they made it to Game 7 of the World Series last year. It’s ignorant of me. Additionally, I’m waiting on the day the Angels don’t suck but every year they amaze me with how good their team is on paper and how shitty they are in the field. Rangers cruise to 90+ wins.

Max Scherzer O/U 15.5 wins = OVER

Ole’ crazy eyes who swears on the Bible he didn’t leave Detroit because of the money (LOL) gives me zero reason why he won’t go over 15 wins. With a solid Nats team around him, this is a lock. 🔒

Michael Fulmer O/U 11.5 wins = OVER

Smash your piggy bank open, pull out all the old birthday cards from grandma, and scoop all the loose change from the floorboard of your Ford and put it on last year’s AL Rookie of the Year to win more than 11 games this year. Fulm-Dog Millionaire is ready to rumble in his second year, no sophomore slump for the future of the Tigers’ pitching staff.

AL MVP – Jose Altuve, +800

Now this is the wild card pick of the bunch. My buddy has a hunch he wins it this is year and who am I to tell him no. Even though I just shit all over the Astros a few paragraphs back, I will not be shitting on Jose Altuve, who I hope, in turn, shits all over the league and brings Daddy home the bacon in this hail mary of a bet. 🍾

– Frank & Joey