So I think I’m a tad bit late on this, but in perusing the hashtag #lgrw on Instagram today, I cam across this photo…

Okay. I know. It’s a lot to take in at once. But before I decided to completely lose my shit, I thought I should dig a little deeper, that’s when I stumbled upon this article from MLive published back in October, which is summed up here:

Now, I have so many issues with this I almost don’t know where to start, but before I sink my teeth in I’ll say this- they are “die-hard” Wings fans and I always respect people with a deep rooted passion for the team I hold closest to my heart. But with that being said, in any group of people no matter what they like or support there are always idiots and bad ideas, and this one is a doubled stacked Grand Mac of the two.

The Joe’s last game is scheduled for Sunday, April 9th, 2017 at 5:00pm. After that day the Joe will close its doors and we will effectively close the book on Joe Louis Arena and its storied history- and that’s okay. The Joe saw a 25-year playoff streak, six President’s Trophies, six Stanley Cup Finals, four Stanley Cup Champions, and countless All-Stars, award winners, and Hall of Fame inductees and those statistics are the ONLY reason the Joe is…The Joe.

The Joe will never be remembered as a state-of-the-art facility known for it’s innovative architecture and advanced technology. No. It will be remember because the Red Wings won a fuck ton of games and championships there. If the Wings SUCKED there, it would be nothing more than the Silverdome- and that’s FACT.

architecturalafterlife.com

So now- this idea, “The DoughJoe.” It’s weak and needs to be met with resistance before we fuck around and let people start calling Little Caesar’s Arena this name. The idea started when this family decided the new stadium did not have a name that quite “captured the rich history of the Red Wings.” Well I really hate to break it to you, but no professional stadium in America does. Everything has a corporate name because it’s 2017 and there are millions upon millions of dollars to be made. And that brings into question the name of Joe Louis Arena…where in that name does that represent the rich history of the Detroit Red Wings? Joe Louis was a boxer who didn’t move to Detroit until the age of 12. I have no idea if he was a hockey fan but unless he was the Orange Cap Guy (RIP) then I’m not sure how his name really fits into “the rich history” of Detroit hockey.

Everyone was in such an uproar when the new stadium name was announced, which made absolutely ZERO sense to me. You had to skating the rings of Saturn to actually think the arena was going to get a name like Gordie Howe Stadium or Steve Yzerman Arena. And for those who wanted cute, playful names like Caesar’s Palace or the Pizza Box just fucking stop. Mike Ilitch built an empire making pizzas and he did it starting right here in Michigan, so if he wanted to name his cutting edge bad-ass stadium after his billion dollar empire- more power to him. IN ADDITION, Little Caesars in an INTERNATIONALLY recognized brand that is rooted in Detroit, it’s not like the place is being called Toyota Center or Booking.com Arena. It’s Little Caesars, which is as Detroit as Faygo, Bettermade, Shinola, Ford, Chrysler, or Vernors. And when it comes to the Red Wings, there really isn’t a brand more closely associated with them than Little Caesars, like it or not.

So the argument you could make is – “that the Dough part is a tribute to Ilitch and Little Caesars.” But personally, I think tossing the word dough in front of the name of the old arena because pizza is made out of dough is a pretty weak tribute to the guy who turned the Wings into a 600 million dollar franchise.

And let’s take a gander at who concocted this nickname. According to the mLive article above it was a family based out of…………INDIANA. Not like Indiana, Michigan (which doesn’t exist) but that border state that isn’t Michigan. Hey, I know Wings Nation exists everywhere and that is fucking AWESOME but it’s just the icing on the cake that the brain power behind this nickname doesn’t even come from the Mitten. The article even desperately tries to save their Red Wing fandom credentials by stating that the dad has a Red Wings tattoo on his arm and that they have a-once-removed-first-cousin who used to play for the Wings for one season. I’m sorry but this guy…

                                                                                  GP      G     A      P        PIM

 …does not grant you the keys to formally knight the new nickname of Little Caesars Arena. Now look, before I started writing this I got notifications on my phone telling me that The Dough Joe and the guy the mLive article is about are now following Champagne Athletics on Instagram, and after they read this they are going to hate my guts and that’s fine. So if you are still reading by this point I’ll say I appreciate the hustle and always salute a fellow passionate Wings fan, I just have to respectfully disagree with this whole approach.

Stadiums, dorm rooms, apartments, houses, fields, rooms, and everything else in between (even fucking people) obtain nicknames organically. It comes by what happens there, how the place makes you feel, and certain characteristics of it, even Joe Louis Arena which we affectionately refer to as “The Joe.” We call it The Joe because we feel comfortable there. It’s treated us well with win after win and championship after championship. And in addition, the place makes us feel like it’s your local, hole-in-the-wall, pub. It’s dumpy. It smells. It’s small. It’s stuffy. There isn’t much technology. And you normally run into someone you know there or know one of the ushers names who works there, just like you would at your local watering hole. So it’s The Joe. And it’s the only variation of The Joe Detroit will ever know. Right now, Little Caesars Arena will be Little Caesars Arena until we go there and the people, sights, smells, sounds, feels, and experiences tell us to call it something else. #lgrw 🍾

 – Frank