Goalies are weirdos. Stone cold loony tune nut bag space cases. And it is truly something that you are born with. You don’t wake up one day and decide “Today is the day I decide that I will willingly take brick-like rubber disks that can travel upwards of 100 MPH when shot correctly right off the chest, face, arms, legs, balls and enjoy it.” It just doesn’t happen. Goalies are born. You’re born a whack job baby, you become a whack job goalie, and you stay a whack job human.

But alas, they are a necessary evil for hockey, and if you have a good one on your side there are few things in sports that can be appreciated more.

What we have here though is your classic case of a young 8-year-old lunatic proving to the masses that he’s in this goalie thing for the long run. While many of you may see a mildly decent rendition of the popular dance craze “Juju On That Beat,” which I will give him credit for, probably very difficult to do with pads on (he heats up around the 30 second mark), but what I also see is a player completely abandoning his team in what looks like a squad huddle up timeout, totally abandoning his soldiers in the line of duty. In addition, it looks like our 8-year-old America’s Got Talent wannabe is getting the hook as we see another young psychopath goaltender skate by him in the heart of his dance. Sure this is “cute” and all but I know if I woulda started a jive turkey boogie woogie in the middle of battle my dad would have made me sleep in the garage for 6 months straight.

His team seems unimpressed, and even though the crowd makes some noise, you’d think they’d be in full fledged uproar over this dance. But there is a tame round of applause and his teammates don’t even turn their heads to look at him.

Normally this type of outlandish action would have me siding with the goalie and his antics, but that fact that he’s a goalie, he’s getting replaced, and his team doesn’t seem to enjoy it can only lead me to conclude this was a desperate reach for attention during a time when his young squad needed focus, probably down in a 4-3 game with about 1:27 left to go, with his team one point out of the wild card spot for the 2017 East Rivertown Mite Playoffs.

Great dance kid but this is hockey. Save those moves for the endzone. 🍾

– Frank