I’m gonna jump right out in front of this one. People have been messaging me saying I only write articles when the Longnecks win, and what I have to say to you is this- it’s my god damn website and I can do what I damn well please. Now, let’s get to this week’s article.

When I turned 12 years old for my birthday my parents took me and a billion of my friends cosmic bowling. After we bowled, we got cake, pizza, and my friend’s family got me a signed Darren McCarty jersey with the 2002 Stanley Cup Finals patch on it. It was the best birthday I have ever had.

Fast forward 17 years, I’m roughly the same size but with thinner hair, a beard, and a much less hopeful outlook on life, but I’m still having birthdays, and yesterday was my 29th. Granted there was no bowling, no cake, and no signed jerseys….but what I did get was a sick pair of Nike’s, a CONVINCING Longnecks W, and a locker room visit that blew my socks clean off.

Last week (no write up) the Longnecks lost to Tony’s Sports Bar by a score of 5-4. It was especially heart breaking for me because my loud mouth went on Instagram and filmed myself screaming how I guaranteed the Necks would beat Tony’s. I Sheeded it. I really thought there was no way the boys were losing.

Well, alas, we did…and Tony’s loved it. Number 5 on Tony’s (ugliest guy in the league) was squealing “SYNO” at me after the game like an 8 year old in an attempt to mock our club’s credo. I picked up a puck at the end of the game and he dropped a “HEY BUD THAT’S OURS” I flashed the puck to him which read SYNO on the front (yes we have custom SYNO pucks) and that’s when said squealing began. He said it like 5 times. But hey- he earned it, we lost, they won, and we couldn’t back up my guarantee. It still doesn’t help with, and I can’t stress this enough, how unfortunate this man physically looks. So congrats Tony’s, I’d like to take this time to double down on my guarantee and say I guarantee we won’t lose to you again this year. Hell or high water. ON GOD or whatever the kids say these days.

But this article is not about last week, it’s about this week, yesterday to be specific. Going into this one, I am not going to lie- I was skeptical. We were missing 4 guys and our starting goalie. We had originally beat the Whalers twice this year, both times in shootouts by scores of 5-4, and anyone who knows anything about sports knows it’s hard to beat a team twice in a season, let alone three times. But what I didn’t take into account was the special surprise our subs brought to the game that lit an absolute fire under the boys asses. His name you ask? Kirk Gibson.

Yeah that one. The MLB and Tigers legend. He rolled in so casually, rocking a Red Wings crew neck, a hunter orange Red Wings ski-cap, and a fresh pair of Nike’s (we had that in common, it was p cool IMO) and just started dapping us all up like it was NO BIG DEAL. It really caught be off guard in the best way possible. After he came through and wished us all luck with this thunderous home run smashing paws I could feel the line shifting in our favor. And when we hit the ice the juice Mr. Gibson injected into the locker room translated to the ice as the Longnecks jumped out to a 2-0 lead and never looked back. The closest the score got was 2-1 but it was quickly erased by a goal on the very next shift by Cheesus Christ. Cheesus was back to his lord and savior self as he scored not one, not two, but THREE goals on the chilly Thursday evening. Muskie, Mistrial, and one of our salt of the earth subs buried the other three.

What really had to sting for the Whalers was that with Goalie out, we had to call on a sub. And we went with a fella who used to play for the Whalers. Sweet, sweet revenge.

The boys played fantastic, buzzin’ from locker room to post game brews. There are moments during seasons where the team comes together, a lot of the times during adversity, that changes the entire outlook of the season. Coming off of that Tony’s loss sucked, and to be missing all the guys we were plus Goalie, facing a team that we had beaten twice and wanted to get even was going to be a tall task, one that I did not know if we were up for. But the universe tends to unfold as it should and the Necks felt good after this one. Necks week we play the Mallards who are one of the top three teams in the league, this is going to be a statement game. If this was the NFL they would definitely flex this game to Sunday night.

Game Notes: 

The Nexus Spine & Sport Backbone Performance of the Game goes to Cheesus Christ. Three goals and a soap-less shower. So on brand for the light of our hockey world. In Cheesus name we pray.

The Zim’s Vodka Smoothest Move of the Game goes to Muskie. Muskie not only had an absolute beauty of a goal picking a gritty corner to strengthen the Necks lead in the second period, but after one of Cheesus Christ’s goals he mucked it up with a very disgruntled Whaler, and slapped his shitty bucket right off his head mid celly. It was a pretty great kick’em while they’re down scenario. Honorable mention to Kirk Gibson cause him rollin’ into the locker room was some of the smoothest shit I dun eva seen.

The Fox Hills Chrysler Jeep Trail Rated Tough Performance goes to our substitute goalie who hadn’t skated since May of 2019 or something like that. But this cat is a competitor, and he gave it everything he had and provided some HUGE saves early that allowed us to maintain our lead and instill confidence in our team. He kept saying he was going to be rusty, but he looked to be in mid-season form.

The Bowline Financial Calculated Risk of the Game goes to one of our salt of the earth subs who really embraced the SYNO culture we have developed on the Longnecks. He’s subbing for us out of the goodness of his own heart, playing for the love of the game, the love of the Necks. He could easily mail it in and have a nice Sunday afternoon skate but that’s just not who he is, so in the middle of the second in the neutral zone there was a 50/50 puck near center ice, it looked like he was going to lose said battle… but he left his feet, stuck his neck out, landed on his balls, and got his stick on the puck moving it to a fellow Longneck and out of harms way. The man I speak of is pictured here:

Showing as much grit in this pic as he did on that dive, where he hurt his balls.

Up next: Michigan Mallards. We are 0-2 against them this year.

Until necks week.

#SYNO #NeckNation #IsItThursdayYet? 

– Frank