Man. Man oh fucking man. It seems like every NFL Playoffs a team loses in some horrible, frustrating, gut-wrenching way. Last year it was Chicago with the double doink, and this year, it was undoubtedly the Buffalo Bills.

If there is anything we as Detroit Lions fans can relate to, it’s criminal-like losses in unexplainable circumstances. Now last year when it happened to Chicago, I laughed, because yanno….fuck the Bears. But this year it was Buffalo. Good ole harmless Buffalo. The Buffalo Bills. The same Bills who have been stuck in a division with Brady, Belicheck, and the Patriots for what seems to be 100 years. The same Bills who went to FOUR STRAIGHT Super Bowls and lost every single one of them. I think that might quite possibly be the most mind blowing team statistic in NFL history. I don’t know how you come back from that as a fan. Maybe that’s why they light themselves on fire and jump through tables at every tailgate.

I mean honestly, Lions fans…think of that. Going to FOUR CONSECUTIVE SUPER BOWLS…and losing ALL FOUR. I’d be fucking crazy too. I mean we’re sick fucks for thinking the Lions will ever be good and keep draining mountains amounts of money into that helpless pit of despair but we haven’t reached the peak insanity that is the Bills Mafia. I mean, they call themselves the fucking Mafia for a reason, they’re insane and they will kill you/themselves in the name of their organization.

So watching that game Saturday, all I kept thinking to myself was how much the Bills resembled the Lions. Not in the personnel they have or even in particular the exact way they played the game, more so just the entropy of their whole situation. They are destined to fall apart in the most insane ways, and Saturday was the quintessential example of that.

The Bills were the Lions in the fact that….

• • • Were not favored to win the game
    • They were playing on Wild Card Weekend, as an underdog, on the road
    • They had a 16-0 lead…until virtually the start of the fourth quarter.
    • And then proceeded to give up two, two-point conversions to give up said lead. What are the odds on converting two consecutive two point conversions in one game?
    • The Bills are the Lions because with a 16-8 lead and driving in the fourth, they fumbled at mid-field which is exactly what the doctor ordered if your a Texans fan.
    • This game was all around Lions because at one point the score was legit 16-11 with no safeties. How does that even happen?
    • Then after inevitably losing the lead, they had a miraculous play where Singletary went a billion fucking yards and had one guy to beat with a blocker in front of him.
    • 
    • Did they score? Nope. Guy went untouched and Singletary ran right into him going out of bounds. From there Josh Allen proceeded to lose his god damn mind.
    • Josh Allen on 4th and 27 after losing 17 yards on the previous two plays, does this
    • 
    • And loses 19 more yards.
    • After getting the ball back after horrendously timid play calling from the Texans, Josh Allen’s first act is to do this…

https://twitter.com/SportsReUp/status/1213619469018390528?s=20

Which somehow was not his most insane play yet.

But when I really knew this game was a Lions game, when it really hit me, was when the punter had to spike the ball for them on first down on their final drive of regulation to keep their season alive.

When the Bills, down 19-16 in field goal range after blowing a 16 point lead had to resort to punter spike I knew they were dead. I knew somehow, someway, they were destined to lose the game. I honestly thought the field goal was going to get blocked or miss in double doink like dramatic fashion. And while the FG was good, I did get one more insanity play in overtime that just the cherry on top. It was this:

The fullback go into double coverage in overtime with your season on the line. Yes. Inject it into my face.

Let’s do a quick recap:

16 point lead, erased.

Hope. A lot of hope after a big great play that they should have finished on and didn’t.

Complete and utter collapse in the form of 37 yards worth of sacks.

A second chance.

Panic lateral.

Punter spike.

Overtime.

Another chance.

Fullback hail mary.

A bunch of back n forth bullshit.

Then this:

Some unexplainable, once in a lifetime event that leads to this:

Scene.

That, my friends, is a Lions loss. It just happened to be the Buffalo Bills. I love you Buffalo and I’m sorry it had to end this way, but I would be lying if I wasn’t a little bit happier knowing that there might be a fan base out there who we can relate to in the slightest manner, because this shit sucks and misery loves company.

Until next year. #forward 🍾

– Frank

Click me to visit the official Champagne Athletics store: