Morning degenerates. Hope you had a great weekend and you’re not too debilitatingly hungover right now. But if you are, don’t fear, we are about to win back all the frivolous money you spent on shitty well whiskeys and fireball shots last night. Hope you guys like road dogs 🐶

Key: Each pick rated on a scale of 1 to 5 🔒‘s based on my confidence in the pick.

Here are my three Sunday LOCKS today:

ATLANTA +3.5 @ Dallas. 1pm EST. 🔒🔒Love Atlanta to at least keep it within three here, if not win the game. Everyone loves Big D this year, and every time the pundies love Big D they end up never coming close to meeting expectations. Atlanta can throw and score with the best of them, and I think they are better than the 7-9 they showed last year. Sure, their defense may not be able to stop a thing, but this week they get just enough stops to hold Dallas within 3. Final: Dallas: 27, Atlanta 24

Result: Dallas 40, Atlanta: 39 = HIT ✅

MINNESOTA +3 @ Indianapolis, 1pm EST. 🔒🔒🔒 This is my upset lock of the day. Minnesota came out flat week one, but was still able to put up 34 points vs Green Bay, they just happened to run into the Aaron Rodgers revenge tour buzzsaw and get torched for 43. That is uncharacteristic of Minnesota’s D and won’t repeat itself this week. Additionally, Philip Rivers is no Aaron Rodgers. Minnesota wins this game. Final: Minnesota 23, Indy 13

Result: Indy 28, Minnesota 11 = MISS ❌

SAN FRANCISCO -7 @ NY JETS, 1pm EST. 🔒 Now this one comes in as my least confident bet, but I stared at it for a while and did the ole “stop over thinking it.” The Jets are horrible and San Fran was in the Super Bowl last year and also coming off of a week one loss they probably wish they could have back. I know they are a West Coast team playing at 1pm on the East Coast, but I’m throwing that all out the window. Jets come out hot, it’s close for a little bit as SF weathers the storm, but ultimately wins by a comfortable margin. Final: San Fran 26, NY Jets 17

Result: San Fran 31, NY Jets 13 = HIT ✅

TEASER OF THE WEEK: 🔒🔒🔒🔒🔒

Never take teasers they say! Well good thing I am not they because I am a SUCKER for teasers, and today, we have the juiciest teaser I have seen in a VERY long time. It’s a layup and all 15 people reading this right now should lock it in IMMEDIATELY before Vegas realizes the huge mistake they have made.

BALTIMORE PK @ Houston + KANSAS CITY -1.5 @ LA CHARGERS. 7 point teaser. 

How can you not trust arguably two of the best teams in the NFL to take care of two teams lacking identity and going through a transitional period? I don’t care that they are both on the road, lock this bad boy in, NOW.

Result: KC 23, Chargers 20 …… Baltimore 33, Houston 16 = HIT ✅

Sunday Night Football Selection: 🔒

I’ll always give you guys a SNF pick as well, I can’t leave you hanging on the late night special, but I can’t guarantee my confidence in the pick. I am simply doing this because it will be the only game on TV at night, and if you’re in a hole and need somewhere to turn I want to be that voice of false betting confidence.

New England +3.5 @ Seattle. I have low confidence in this one, and if the line drops to 3, I am changing my pick over to Seattle. This is a really tough one, but I think Seattle wins the game at home by exactly 3. Final: Seattle 20, New England 17. 

Result: Seattle 35, New England 30 = MISS ❌

And last and probably least….

My Lions’ pick of the week. 🥴

I don’t advise betting on the Lions, (even though it’s something I do almost every single week) but if you are going to take them, I recommend making them a line item in your weekly budget.

how did he fucking drop this?

Detroit goes into Green Bay after an abysmal fourth quarter collapse versus Mitch Fucking Trubisky and the Chicago Fucking Bears. The Leo’s picked up right where they left off last year in blowing a fourth quarter lead in a game they should have won, and Matt ‘Arrogant Fat Fuck’ Patricia made his stupid ‘toughin it out’ face 100 times even behind his mask. Also, I seriously don’t know how, but that guy looks about 50 pounds larger than last year.

‘toughin it out’ face

But anyways I digress. That L is going to be tough to bounce back from given the entire tenure since Patricia has shown up. The team doesn’t like him, the fans hate him, and the media can’t stand him….and for one of his teams to again collapse like that week one at home vs a divisional rival may have sealed the fate for the season, yes, in week one. Aaron Rodgers is on a revenge tour once again after everyone said he’s going to have a down year. The Golladay-less Lions head into Green Bay and put up a decent fight, but ultimately can’t contain Rodgers and match him blow for blow offensively.

Prediction Final: Packers 34, Lions: 23

Actual Final: Packers 42, Lions 21

Share this with your degenerate friends and good luck to everyone today.

#forward 🍾

– Frank

PS – check out why I love Matthew Stafford