Alright team well here we are, Week 7. Right off the rip I want to apologize because I have officially fallen below the poverty line when it comes to NFL picks. With my shit pick of taking the Eagles on Thursday Night Football, my overall NFL Record on the year is now a middling 14-15. But rest assured I have put together a fool-proof plan for this Sunday to get our heads firmly above water. There is nothing new to this plan, I am simply going to just spout off picks that I think will win like I usually do. That’s it. That’s the plan.

 = Level of confidence. 1 lowest, 5 highest.

BILLS -10 at New York Jets 🔒 🔒 🔒 🔒 : The Jets are ASS! Plain and simple. The Jets are ass and the Bills are not ass. The Bills are coming off two losses to some very good teams in Tennessee and Kansas City. They are tired of losing and would love nothing more that to whoop the living shit out of their cross state rivals in their own barn to get back on track. Allen might throw for 400 yards and 5 TD’s int his one to get back on track. Don’t overthink this one, it’s a big line because it should be. Final: Bills: 34, Jets 15

PACKERS -3 at Houston Texans 🔒 🔒 : My buddy warned me about this game, he said the Pack are the most taken team right now in Vegas, and when that happens it normally means Vegas knows something the people don’t. So by every measure of this bet I am walking into a trap (which is exactly what I did last week when I took the Pack vs the Bucs). But quite honestly- fuck it. I don’t see Rodgers having anywhere close to the game he just had vs the Bucs. I think he’s embarrassed, and I think he comes for blood in a dome vs the lowly, interim-coached Texans. Final: Packers 32, Houston: 26 

STEELERS +1 at Tennessee Titans 🔒 🔒 : Sweet heavens on high I am looking at this board right now and seeing all road teams. Two road favorites and basically a pick’em with this final pick. This is a SPOOKY-ASS BOARD so good thing it’s fucking SPOOKTOBER right now otherwise none of these would work. Steelers have been my beacon in the dark dark betting night this season and I won’t turn my back on Tomlin and the boys now. Tennessee is a very good team and do not get the respect they deserve so I’m hopping on board the disrespect train and saying the Curtain pull out a gutsy win in the Volunteer State. Final: Steelers 27, Titans 24. 

Teaser of the Week – 🔒 🔒 🔒  (7.5 point teaser)

Last week I got cocky and absolutely jinxed myself. I said I hadn’t missed on the TOTW yet this season which was 100% true, only to proceed to watch Green Bay get the living shit kicked out of them and not cover a +8 teased out spread. I was putting together a nightstand from Ikea while watching that game and instead of peacefully putting together said item, I broke every limb of table piece by piece and swallowed all the screws whole in frustration. There is nothing worse than unsuccessfully putting together confusing Swedish furniture and getting absolutely prison pounded on a bet you have going. Nothing. So this week not only will I NOT be putting together Ikea furniture, I will also NOT be losing my Teaser of the Week. We’re rolling with some big boys this week. Pats just got embarrassed at home by the Denver Broncos last week, with their COVID issues out of the way and a full week of Bill Belichick verbally assaulting them, they come back to form and cover a teased spread versus a visiting West Coast team. In addition, KC doesn’t lose a divisional game to Denver. Patriots +4.5 vs San Fran AND Kansas City +.5 at Denver. 

Sunday Night Football – 🔒 🔒 🔒 🔒 

SEATTLE -3 (-140) at Arizona. I don’t need to get into detail here. I am not betting against Russell Wilson in primetime in a divisional game. I don’t care that they didn’t cover last time in Prime Time vs the Vikings, I don’t care Arizona looked great versus Dallas, and I don’t care that Seattle’s on the road. Russ gets it done, but buy the point even though it brings it up to a nasty -140 value. Final: Seattle 27, Arizona 23

OUR LIONS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

HAPPY KOOL-AID DAY EVERYONE! I am back. I’m back. I’m full slap show moronic idiot ready for the Lions to get back to .500 today. No joke this entire week I have been texting people that I truly believe the Lions get absolutely prison pounded this week. Seriously, like killed.

But then last night I had a dream. The dream was a big blue personified glass of Kool-Aid crashing through my living room wall screaming “OHHHHHH YEAAAHHHHH” and he was wearing a Stafford jersey and there was blue Kool-Aid spilling everywhere. On the carpet the walls couch I mean just fucking everywhere. It was an absolute Honolulu blue chaotic mess and I loved every minute of it. The Aid was loaded with sugar and my dog was barking and the Kool-Aid man just keep screaming “OHHH YEAAHHH!!!! LIONS WIN IN ATLANTA!!!” And I was like “Really Kool-Aid man!?” and he replied “OHHHH YEAHHHH!!! COLTS, VIKINGS, WASHINGTON, PANTHERS, TEXANS ALL WINS, THE NORTH IS OURRSSOOOOHHHHH YEEEAHHHHH!” And I woke up today and I knew I had saw the light. Today is Kool-Aid Day. You never know when it’s going to come every year but this year it’s week 7. It’s Kool-Aid Day and the Lions get back to .500 Final: Lions 31, Atlanta 29

#forward 🍾

– Frank