Hey Le’Veon, What The Fuck Are You Doing? πŸ—‘

Last Updated: April 18, 2019By

A year+ ago, outside of Matthew Stafford, you could make the argument that Le’Veon Bell was my favorite player in the NFL, and for good reason. I got the privilege to watch him at MSU as a student from 2010-2012, where the Spartans had a great amount of success. Then he exploded onto the scene for one of the most successful NFL franchises in the Pittsburgh Steelers. He was a completely unorthodox running back who was wildly creative, patient and explosive when he had the ball. I had never seen anyone run with his style anywhere in my life. He was a game-changer, MSU alum, and looked like a total badass in the black and yellow.

We all know the story from here. The contract disputes, the attempted franchise tags, the hold out, the money left on the table, and his eventual signing with the Jets. Great. All said and done. It felt ridiculous from start to finish, but I don’t know what goes on in the locker room, the organization, or if Le’Veon really did the right thing by holding out. The more I read the more I honestly think it was selfish and asinine, but even if I can let all of that nonsense go, what he has done recently I am not sure I can forgive. If you haven’t seen/heard this already prepare yourself, the biggest question mark going into it is deciphering what you think will bleed first- your eyes or your ears.

It’s only 38 seconds long but I can’t bring myself to watch/listen to the entire thing. If you honestly think this sounds good, you are a either a Le’Veon slappy or there is something off in between your (now bleeding) eyes. Hey, I am all for people doing what makes them happy and creative endeavors and all that shit. But this guy is an NFL running back. The second highest paid NFL running back. And after sitting out an entire season for a team who considered themselves Super Bowl contenders and walking out on the team that drafted him, to release this steaming hot dumpster fire of a rap or whatever the fuck this is- it’s impossible to think Le’Veon has football/winning at the top of his to-do list.

Sure, the track sucks. This whole thing sucks. It’s poorly timed and an awful PR look…but what’s worse is that he asked the Twitter-verse if it was FIRE or TRASH in emoji’s, as the kids like to do these days. So naturally people answered, one of those answers came from veteran Chargers wideout, Keenan Allen.

I had to look up what “keeping it band” meant, but once I saw it was just keeping it real (sorry I’m so white) I started looking up Keenan Allen jerseys online because I love that he just shot Le’Veon straight. The “song” fucking sucks. No two-ways about it.

But in this world, everyone thinks they want someone to shoot them straight until they actually get shot straight, and that’s when baby boy Le’Veon said this back:

This is the softest thing I’ve ever read. You literally ASKED people what they thought Keenan Allen educated you, shot you straight, and told you exactly what it was…trash. For you to cry saying “you should have texxxtteeddd meeee!” is the equivalent of an 11-year-old getting dropped off at their first dance by their mom, and the mom asking for a goodbye kiss in front of all his new friends/crush and the embarrassed kid yelling back “MOOOMMMMM!!!!” It’s pathetic. “Enjoy this buzz fuzz“(?). What?

It’s soft. And the Le’Veon carnival rolls on. We can only imagine what this year will bring in The Big Apple. Oh and one more thing:

Why do you call yourself Juice? No one calls you that. You made up that nickname for yourself…and that’s OJ’s nickname. Nothing you do makes sense to me. #gogreen πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ 🍾

Frank