Now I’m gonna level with you guys here- I’m not aging well. My hairs thinning out, I have a dead tooth right in the front of my grill from a puck I took to the face in college, I’m oddly skinny, and I grow nose hairs that would hang below my chin if I didn’t yank them out of my head on a daily basis. So I’m really not in the business of saying anything is ugly, looks like shit, or is not aging well. But in this case I’m actually going to say all of the above about our beloved Joe Louis Arena. While she was never a looker, she at least had a fresh paint job and showed a little face. Now it just looks like a dangerous trash barn. Kinda like the fail jail. Behold:

 

Why was I at the Joe in the first place? Well since I’m so grossly out of shape I decided to go there and run the stairs in preparation for the upcoming Longnecks season. Let me tell you, there are a lot of stairs. I only did it like three times said fuck it and promptly lit a cig and walked to Burger King. I was painfully slow for opening night.

The Joe looks like it’s been closed for 25 years, not a year and half. It looks awful. It’s spooky. It reminds me of what happened to Tiger Stadium back in the day.

In fact, Detroit sports stadiums seem to have an awful history of doing this. Remember the Silverdome?

Yuck! Let’s get back to the Joe, here’s some more nightmarish shots.

Why was Gaga the only poster not ripped down? Each door used to have some sort of Red Wing or celebrity on them. The time before I ran by the Joe, the only two left were Jay-Z and Gaga. Seems as if someone scooped up HOV🙌 but Gaga got the cold shoulder. Surprising given how well she did at the Super Bowl a couple years ago. What?

Naturally, I tried every single door on both sides of the arena to see if I could get in. Yeah trespassing, breaking and entering, yada yada just shut up and enjoy the pictures wouldja? But in my attempt to break into the Wings home arena, I came across a door with this…

A big fucking bug! Eeeeeeeewwwwww! I’m a pansy so this scared me half to death. But, while I did not get into the rink, I did get a tiiiiinnnnnyyy peak into the old barn.

A mural of Kronner ripping a clap bomb on one of the Joe’s infamous bathrooms/trough houses. That’s all I got. Here’s some more photos.

And how about this depressing, mildly deep/symbolic sign scotch taped to the side door of the building, written on a shitty piece of loose leaf:

Now, if you’re like me, you’re probably sitting there going…so what the fuck are they going to do with the Joe? Just let it crumble to shit for the next 20 years till they demolish it? So I looked into it, and I found this from the Detroit Free Press:

The City of Detroit has until May to start demolition work for now-empty Joe Louis Arena with a goal of getting the land ready for a new, large hotel that would reshape the downtown riverfront. That deadline is laid out in a 3-year-old agreementbetween the city and one of its former bondholders, which received future ownership and development rights to the arena property in exchange for accepting big losses during Detroit’s 2013-14 municipal bankruptcy.

The deal requires the city — which built and still owns The Joe — to begin the demolition process within 90 days of the expiration of the arena’s long-term lease with the Red Wings and the Ilitch family’s Olympia Entertainment.

The lease was initially expected to end by mid-September 2017, according to the agreement and city documents, yet didn’t expire until Wednesday because Olympia exercised options for time extensions. Work crews were spotted in recent weeks removing material from the 38-year-old, windowless building. 

Now that article was posted in February of 2018. Clearly it’s way passed May 1 and I don’t see any signs of demolition. I’m no construction man but I don’t think ripping down Bob Seger and Shanahan posters counts as demolition prep. But what the fuck do I know. I also thought this last note was interesting.

Joe Louis Arena opened in December 1979 and was home to four Red Wings Stanley Cup championship teams and more than 600 concerts and events.

The city built the $34-million arena to keep the Red Wings, then owned by the Norris family, from leaving Detroit for Oakland County.

The Wings played their final game at The Joe last April 9, a 4-1 victory over the New Jersey Devils. They now play at the new $863-million Little Caesars Arena.

I didn’t know the city had to make a concerted effort to keep the boys in the city. Phew. Thank god they did, that would have sucked. As much of barn as it was, I loved the place, and I’m sad to see it fall to complete shit. Just demo the damn thing and be done with it. #lgrw 🍾

– Frank

If you’re you’re looking for a deeper understanding of my love for the Joe, check out my farewell letter: The Joe: My Final Farewell