Remember when this video was floating around X- The Everything App™, and everyone rightfully panned noted dipshit Mike Tannebaum?

Fast forward three months, 45 points, 21 IR spots, and an ignominious divisional round exit- we’ve now unironically talked ourselves into how this trade would solidify the Lions as Glorious Leaders of the NFC for the duration of Garrett’s playing career. While we wouldn’t necessarily have to give up 3 first round picks-”just two first rounders, a second, and a fourth”-players like Gibbs and Amon-Ra (more on this later) were casually thrown around by our favorite radio hosts and room temperature IQ callers alike.

And look, I get it.

Imagine a front four that included Hutchinson, McNeil, and Garrett. You could throw a can of Labbatt’s at the other DT spot and probably have a top 5 defense. He’s a sure-fire hall of famer, game changer, generational talent; and the fact that he almost ripped Mason Rudolph’s head off endears me even more to him. He embodies Dan Campbell’s “fuck you” attitude, and would fit in perfectly with our culture. But at a certain point, if you shit upon the players who bought into the culture that made you what you are, you’re going to find it very difficult to try and sell the culture to draft picks and free agent signings alike.

The whole thing reminds me of the Allen Iverson trade. For you zoomers out there, the Pistons weren’t always a giant fucking trash fire (although, respect where respect is due- they’re playing really fun and competitive basketball right now). They were, at one point, a perennial Eastern Conference Finals team- largely due to a selfless, defensive-oriented style of basketball that was boring as shit to watch, (save for the occasional Ben Wallace dunk or massive brawl at The Palace) but really successful. But, towards the end of that run, when Allen Iverson became available for a trade, the Pistons said “fuck it” and traded away Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess- two players who were integral to the “Going to Work Pistons” culture of the mid-aughts. The rest, as they say, is history.

Obviously, the AI to Myles Garrett comparison isn’t perfect (AI was definitely not in his prime by the time the Pistons got him), but the idea of trading away core pieces of your franchise and culture to spice up things in the bedroom seems to still work here. Trading Gibbs, who basically carried the Lions run-game in Montgomery’s absence and seems like an all-around “vibes guy” (he’s basically in every Jared Goff/Penei Sewell/random OT wedding Instagram video), is only slightly less offensive of a proposal when you consider trading away Amon-Ra St. Brown.

People will claim, “but, but-look at our depth! We have Jameson Williams, and Tim Patrick, and LaPorta, and Gibbs, and all these other threats”, which on surface makes sense, until the car keys stop jingling in front of your face or the adult actually explains to you that their thumb isn’t your nose, and is, in fact, just their thumb. Amon-Ra IS the Lions culture. He’s unselfish, disciplined, and plays with a chip on his shoulder that any Detroiter can appreciate. (Any guy that can list every single receiver taken in front of him, despite getting a bag in the offseason, is my type of player. I love that shit.) The game-winning catch against Minnesota to break the 0-10-1 start in 2021 and the game-clinching catch in the wild card game against the LA Rams in 2024 were both Amon-Ra bookends to probably the most exciting brand of Lions football I had ever seen. Trading away a guy like him spits in the face of every player that fully buys into what it means to play for Dan Campbell and the Detroit Lions. Not to get sentimental, but sometimes you have to go to dance with the girl that brought you. Even if a 10 is giving you the “fuck me” eyes from across the gymnasium dance floor. But here’s the thing! You’re with an 8. Which, in the grand scheme of things, is pretty good! You could be Cleveland, who puked on themselves in the limo because they started pounding their mom’s stash of Cherry Burnetts in the basement fridge before you went to Homecoming dinner at Aspen’s on Hall Road.

I’m all for getting Myles Garrett, but this shit about giving up a cornerstone offensive player and a million picks needs to stop. You know why we got wrecked by Washington? Because our defense was dead. We weren’t a Myles Garrett away from the Super Bowl; we were 2 DEs, 2 DT, an LB, 3 CB, and a bench full of healthy subs away from a Super Bowl. You know where you find those players? In the first, second, and third round. Even though it’s becoming cliche around here, there’s only one solution:

Trust the Process. Let Brad cook.