Lions, thanks to Nike, get jerseys right for the first time since the 50’s

Last Updated: April 14, 2017By

Thank the LORT.

Our professional NFL football team finally looks COOL. For decades, not only have we completely sniffed penis at playing football, we looked like it too. Was that too aggressive? I DON’T CARE. I’m so jazzed up over these new uni’s I’m about to overdraft my account on a payday buying every single player in every single color. I need to stop talking and just show you. Here! For fuck’s sakes here!

Home

Away

Color Rush

Throwbacks

The helmets, obviously.

I don’t know where to being. Cutting out the black and simplifying everything has made these uniforms go from a 3 to a 13.5. Since I can remember, the only Lions uniforms I have actually liked were the throwbacks, the simple silver and Honolulu blue. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just awesome. The Lions haven’t looked this good since these guys were playing.

And if you think I’m exaggerating, let’s bring in a refresher of what we’ve dealt with over the passed 20+ years.

This was the best it got, and honestly Barry could make a Gumby costume look hot. But from this era on, it was only downhill. Drastically, down hill.

Adding the black, which eventually devolved into…

Like Sanders, Calvin can make anything look hot. But toss the like of Jon Kitna and/or Joey Harrington in one of those bad boys and you might as well just swan dive off of an I-75 overpass. But after getting rid of the all black unis, they made the bold move of tweaking the numbers kinda I guess. 

Better, but still a basement dweller when it comes to NFL uni’s, and I just feel like no matter what, these uniforms carry and aura of losing with them. Kinda like the 1990’s Tiger’s logo with the cat crawling out of the D. No matter what you think of the logo/uniform design, it just associates with shitty performance.

The Tigers bailed on this logo in 2005. Literally the NEXT YEAR in 2006, they went to the World Series.

But now, thanks to the king of athletic apparel (Nike), the Lions have finally gotten their uniforms right. From the homes, to the throwbacks, to the completely fire-flames Color Rush all greys, the Cardiac Cats finally got it right for the first time since roughly the 50’s. The only question remains is- am I going with a blue or grey Staffy for the upcoming season? #forward 🍾

 – Frank