This article is presented by Antonio’s Italian Cucina

There are a number of incredible names throughout the NCAA Tournament. Who makes up the All-Name starting five?

Each year, we get countless unique nicknames across both college football and basketball. How can you forget General Booty or Dude Person. Or what about Always Wright or Po’Boigh King? Some of these names are legal, some just nicknames. But all deserve attention for being incredible. Let’s take a moment from non-stop games and losing bet after bet to have some fun. 

So, without further ado, I give you the March Madness All-Name Team.

Honorable Mentions/Coming off the bench: 

Federiko Federiko, 6’11 Senior, Texas Tech

Rakease Passmore, 6’5 Freshman, Kansas

Boogie Fland, 6’2 Freshman, Arkansas

Townsend Tripple, 6’8 Sophomore, BYU

Sin’Cere McMahon, 6’0 Senior, Norfolk State

Nelly Junior Joseph, 6’10 Senior, New Mexico

Solo Ball, 6’3 Sophomore, UConn

Starting with our guards: 

Lefteris Liotopoulos, 6’4 Freshman, St. Johns

Darlinstone Dubar, 6’8 Senior, Tennessee

Phat Phat Brooks, 6’2 Freshman, Michigan

The All-Name Team is lead by three guards, Lefteris, Darlinstone, and Michigan’s own Phat Phat. What they lack in experience, two being freshmen, they make up for in nicknames. Scoring is going to be hard to come by with this group, only averaging 1.9 points per person, but that’s not why they’re being selected. Darlinstone Dubar will do most of the heavy lifting, playing-wise, but all three have top tier names, making them worthy of getting the starting nod.

And for our starting forwards:

Supreme Cook, 6’9 Senior, Oregon

Favour Aire, 6’11 Junior, Bryant

Moving to the big guys downlow, we have a little more experience. Supreme Cook and Favour Aire bring the height and the names to March Madness. Again, offense may be an issue with Supreme averaging the most out of everyone in this starting lineup at just 4.7 per game. Still, I’m already prepared for the mental battle of rooting for Michigan State, but also Favour Aire, to an extent. 

A lineup of Lefteris Lisotopoulos, Darlinstone Dubar, Phat Phat Brooks, Supreme Cook, and Favour Aire would feed families. I mean, can you image an announcer having to say, “Supreme passes the ball in to Lefteris. Lefteris gets a screen from Darlinstone and passes to the corner to Phat Phat, who bounces it downlow to Favour for the easy dunk”. I mean, it’s beautiful!