Sad!

It’s truly a crying shame to witness an organization so beat down, so exhausted, so defeated that it can’t handle the heat of the day-in-day-out social media banter of their ever-loyal fans. This Monday the Detroit Red Wings hosted the Colorado Avalanche on yet another gimmick night in an attempt to sell tickets. The event this time around? 90’s night. Now look, I am only semi-dogging these kind of nights, I myself attended 80’s night this year and it was an absolute blast that spiraled completely out of control, and I even got a dope-ass tee shirt.

But we all know if the boys were leading the East in points, these themed type of nights wouldn’t be necessary at all, because people would just go to the games and not need to see Darren McCarty stick his head in a cardboard cut out as an incentive to relive the glory days.

If you’re gonna do gimmick nights, I think you should really go all out. For example 90’s night this past Monday should have had center ice painted up with the old Hockeytown font. They should have let people huddle up around the arena and smoke cigs 10 feet away from the door. They should have put fucking troughs in the hallways and let the boys take a community piss together just like the god damn 90’s. You don’t just get to play Colorado, replay the March 26th fight night and call it 90’s night. No. Cut the glass down, remove the protective netting, and let me inhale Molson XXX’s while I look for an actor dressed up as the Orange Hat Guy (RIP).

But what I’m here to bitch about tonight is how my hard work got absolutely disrespected on Monday. Not only was it 90’s night, it happened to be long-time veteran defenseman Jonathan Ericsson’s 36th birthday. I know this because I saw the Wings’ social media account post it, here’s the post.

Simple enough. But when I saw this I was like “hhhhoooooooaaaa boy” and clicked into it because I knew the comments would be spicy, because not only are the Wings having the worst season in MY entire lifetime and possibly THEIR entire lifetime, people have wanted Big E off the roster since roughly 2009. And sure as shit I get in there and it’s exactly what I expected – NASTY.

And as I write this article, I went to the post to pull comments down and show them to you, but the majority of the real spicy meatballs have been deleted- SAD! But, with all of these negative comments I decided to chime in with this.

As you can see, this comment gained a little steam heat in the form of 40 likes. Nice! But apparently it was a little too much salsa for the Red Wing social team’s taco because they decided to sass back.

Fair. I’ve never had a cup of coffee in the league, and that’s something I have to live with everyday. But I’ve been a Wings fan since I could see. Legit since I opened my god damn eyeballs and laid peepers on that beautiful Winged Wheel emblem I was die hard. I literally fucking bleed red, and all I was doing was looking out for Big E and the Wings social team by warning them of the shit storm that was a’brewing. So for them to remind me I did not reach my ultimate goal in life which was to be an actual Detroit Red Wing was jarring to say the least, so I had to come back strong.

Now my response here is 100% true, while I was sitting my non-NHL-playing ASS on my fucking non-NHL-caliber couch, Ericsson was doing shit like this:

NHL playing Big E: -1, Couch-sitting Frank: 0. I win. Now this comment quickly started to gain steam, ya boi (me) was lovin it. And the Wings even came back AGAIN…saying something along the lines of “How many games have you played in the NHL?” to which I responded verbatim with AS 👏🏼MANY 👏🏼 AS 👏🏼 YOU 👏🏼 BUDDAY 👏🏼. Now I would show you this, but it’s sadly been deleted. Yes, the entire convo. Sad! Yes, SAD! After my comment/whole convo got dusted they must have went in there and cleaned house of any anti-Ericsson propaganda because all the fun is gone.

To me this is just the true sign of an organization who has had the shit kicked out of them this year. I mean think about it, sure the actual hockey playing team stinks, but a lot of those guys are millionaires flying first class, eating the best dinners, crushing ass in every city, while the rest of the organization (in this case the social team) has to deal with the residual mess of losing. Can you imagine the angst the social guy/gal had knowing (s)he had to post that it was Jonathan Ericsson’s 36th birthday? They knew it was going to be a slaughterhouse in the comments and they would have to deal with it. Think about it, out of 68 game posts this year they’ve only been able to post “Red Wings win!” 15 times…and 20% of those came in the first god damn week.

So I understand. I get it. You, like all of Wings-Nation needs a win. And maybe by deleting my little dance of joy in the comment section of a Happy Birthday Jonathan Ericsson post helped you win your day.

I understand that I’m not even the last shake-drop of urine at the end of the Detroit Red Wings piss breaks, and I know it was probably some stupid company protocol to delete my comment, but god damn Wings, did you ever think maybe this guy, the little guy, who loves you with all his heart, could have used that win too? #lgrw 🍾

– Frank