Goalie returned. Muskie was dialed. Doc was buttery smooth. And the 2019-20 Longnecks are officially back to 500 (4-4) after a hard fought 5-4 overtime win over the Whalers Thursday night.

It was a game that saw a lot of up and down action, with the Whalers taking a 2-0 lead in the first, the Longnecks storming back with 4 goals of their own, then the Whalers tying it back up in the third with two more of their own to send it into a shootout.

It was an aggressive game, a game that both teams seemed to really want to win. It can be characterized by a few key aspects.

From the Longnecks side of things, the game’s clear MVP was Muskie. Muskie always plays with the passion and aggression similar to that of a ravenous pack of feral dogs and his approach to games could be compared to a bull in a China shop. None of that was absent on Thursday, but last night, he added a touch of tact to his game that did wonders for his team, resulting in two monster goals. The first one I missed because I was toes up taking a cross check across my chest by a guy triple my size, but from everything I heard it was an absolute snipe from a shitty angle. The second Muskie goal was borderline NSFW. He was the trailer on an odd man rush, he entered the zone at 9 billion miles per hour, he was wide open, the puck was dropped to him and he hit this shot with the fury of a thousand suns. This is how the net looked after he buried.

Seriously. He dropped to a knee Brett Hull style. He dropped so low I feel like his thigh was laying flat on the ice by the time he was finished. It was awesome. But also terrifying.

In addition to Muskie‘s two buries, Doc had an absolutely electric unassisted finish that resembled that of a punt return in the NFL. He picked the puck up in the neutral zone looped around to create space, found it, entered the zone and with one guy on his back and two in front of him, he cut in between them, and absolutely buried. Beauty.

Buck also put one away on a nice feed from someone out there. Don’t remember who. Sorry.

Another big storyline of the night was the battle of the slashes. It was a pretty chippy game with triple slashing calls called on both sides. One mad slasher in particular was on the Whalers. This fella is an older guy and he was slashing like he worked at Walmart. But instead of prices, it was Longnecks. He wears number 47 and I’m pretty sure he chose that number because that’s the year he was born. Then, when we would slash back or say something to him he would go into a full scream about wanting to fight us. Oldest guy on the ice by 100 years begging guys in their late 20’s to fight him at 11pm in Hazel Park. Tough look. Laughably tough.

But even through all the slashes and X-Rated goal scoring. The most intriguing call of the night came in the shootout. Now, the ref we had during this game took his job verrrrrryyy seriously, and was reffing this game like it was game 7 of the SCF. So the way the shootout works is each team gets FIVE shots. Kinda ridiculous but that’s what it is.

Anyways… they shoot first hit the post – no goal.

Man Hands goes, kinda looks like he loses the puck a little, then just roofs the fucking thing. (1-0)

They go, make some sloppy move that honestly should have went in the net, but it was missed barely. Idk it was weird, it doesn’t matter.

Buck goes, five-hole buries. 2-0

They go. Idk what happened but they miss.

Now this is where it gets spicy. Doc is up. He goes down does what he does and dekes the living shit out of their now abused and tattered goaltender, and as he gently putting the puck in the net, as the goalie is far out of position, the net comes off. The puck goes in the net and the net coming off had no influence on the play being a goal or not…the Longnecks start to celebrate victory but this verrrrryyy astute ref comes flying in and calls NO GOAL. He called NO GOAL on a clear goal in a men’s league shootout. It was fucking MIND BLOWING. Both sides jaws were on the floor. I started yelling how mind blowing it was and then, quite frankly idk what the fuck happened, but some dude on the Whalers started screaming at the ref. I don’t know what he was saying or why he was doing it. The call was in the Whalers favor and my mans was just going ham on the ref. Everyone’s confusion was at PEAK HIGH during this moment. I don’t know if that guy was just a stickler for the right call in a game of hockey or what. But he legit took over for me getting in the ref’s ear.

After this insanity, which lasted all of like a minute, the NHL ref calls “REDO”. Just calls a redo! Like backyard pickup game shit. Redo! Confusion was running rampant. But whatever Doc goes down, and puts it through the tendy’s wickets. Game over.

3 registered shots. 4 goals. 5-4 shootout dub. Necks are 500 again. The universe tends to unfold as it should.

Game Notes: 

The Nexus Spine & Sport Backbone Performance of the Game goes to Muskie. For all the shit I said up there. Beauty stuff. Pure animalistic grit.

The Zim’s Vodka Smoothest Move of the Game goes to Doc. We might have to just name this award after him. His electric factory goal coupled with his TWO shootout buries makes him the smoothest Neck in the Serengeti.

The Fox Hills Chrysler Jeep Trail Rated Tough Performance goes to Buck. Buried in the game, buried in the shootout, doesn’t wear a face mask and we found out he’s goes to MGM Casino every Thursday before our games. By that last fact alone he’s a great candidate to win this award every week.

The Bowline Financial Calculated Risk of the Game goes to Mr. Hustle for bringing a bottle of Zim’s Vodka in the locker room along with a bag of Zim’s tee’s These tee’s are absolute beauties and will have the females flocking to us when we have them on. He’s taking a risk by 1. putting a bottle of liquor around us and 2. putting us in those chick magnet shirts knowing damn well a lot of us are in relationships. You dirty dog. Check these bad boys out.

😎

ALSO side note, the Detroit Aces…the team I have called the worst team in the league multiple times, said they will never win a game, and referred to them as Butt Snorkelers…has won a game. They beat East Dental last night 5-4 or something. Congrats Aces!

Up next: Michigan Mallards. We lost to them 4-2 last time around.

Until necks week.

#SYNO #NeckNation #IsItThursdayYet? 🦒

– Frank