This is a guest article, here is a preface from Frank: The following article was written by an individual who has far more knowledge about the Pistons/NBA than the moron (Frank) who normally writes these articles. To say he has more knowledge about the Pistons/NBA is also one the greatest understatements I have ever made in my entire life. He goes by Megamind, not because he thinks he knows more than you, it’s because he’s bald. Good ole fashioned bald. A place I will soon be as ROGAINE (the official sponsor of Champagne Athletics) continues to fail me day after day. Enjoy.

At 7PM EST tonight one of the most anticipated NBA drafts in recent memory will take place at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn, NY. Due to the Warriors dominance, the league is in a complete frenzy unlike anything I can remember in my lifetime, a lifetime that began in 1991.

There are a select few teams with an embarrassment of future assets and draft capital (Boston, Phoenix, Philly) that are controlling the trade winds throughout the league…and let me tell ya, we’re approaching fucking F5 territory. The only comparison to be made of these type of trade winds is that of shitty fantasy football leagues everywhere in which impatient jackaloons trade OBJ for Kelvin Benjamin out of pure boredom at work (personal experience).

In today’s NBA there are the haves, the have nots scheming to become haves, and the fucking morons in the middle. Take a wild guess which category our Pistons fall under? We’ve been in NBA purgatory since our beloved core of Rip, Sheed, Ben and Chauncey was torn apart in an attempt to negate a rebuilding period.

I won’t dive too far into the hell of remembering that we traded Chauncey for an old, broke, clearly-on-his-way-out Allen Iverson out of the sheer fear of giving my own self a brain aneurism.

But the point is, is that the NBA is different than any other sport on the planet in the sense that one player can change the entire landscape of a team’s future. If any of you (Stan Van…Gores…the ghost of Joe Dumars) …think that player is currently on the Pistons roster your ass is fucked three times towards the weekend (Jeremy Grey, Wedding Crashers).

This brings me to my main point, it is time to face the fucking music and start rebuilding this team. Piece by piece, year by year, pick by pick if that’s what it fucking takes, but for the love of god end this half decade streak of almost making the playoffs and consequently stockpiling worthless, late lottery draft picks. The Pistons are a perennial 9-seed. This is not the recipe folks, you win in the NBA because of talent, and we are severely lacking in this area.

To kick the rebuild into gear there is one, and only one thing to do tonight, go fucking bonkers on the trade market. When the clock strikes midnight tonight, if Reggie Jackson and Andre Drummond are still Detroit Pistons, we’ve lost. These two have proven they cannot carry a team to home court advantage in a playoff series, but they can be nice pieces for another team looking for reinforcements. Let’s take a look at some scenarios:

…where do I sign?

…one would hope, but who the fuck knows Matt.

Bottom line is we are not one “veteran” away from contending for anything, not the title or the conference. The chances of contending for anything in this league until the 2019-20 season look bleek to say the least, so why are we trying to win now without a win now roster?

There are a handful of players that could go anywhere from 6-12 tonight that will be better off for this team then our two whining, wannabee stars (Smith, Isaac, Tatum, Markkanen, Monk, Ntilikina). It is time bite the bullet Stan Van. New logo, (looks exactly the same) new arena (apparently this is a maybe now?) How about some new found hope to go along with it.

Wake up, face reality, get your dog’s dick out of your hand and pick up the fucking phone.

The deal is out there, it is up to you to find it or you can find the door. 🍾

– Megamind