Whhooooooaaaaa an article. I know, try not to shit your britches. Look, I’m trying to get back into the swing of things with providing you, the dedicated follower, with content. I put the kibosh on The Fizz for now which probably had zero effect on your life but it secretly breaks my heart more and more with each passing week.

But guess what- you don’t care. Today I’m here with a quick hit about the Pistons. I intend to make these quick hits more of a daily thing. They’re quicker, shorter in length, and allow me an outlet to unleash my ignorance on the world in short spurts. And by “the world” I mean the 15 people who may glance at this whilst indulging in their morning dump.

So here we are. Our Detroit Pistons, World Champions in 89, 90, and 2004, are currently off to their best start to a season since 2005, at 10-3. Now albeit early, they have a commanding lead on the Central and are currently in 2nd place in the East.

I have admitted from the onset of Champagne Athletics that I was a bandwagon Pistons fan, and that has not changed. I have always said that my interest in the Stones directly correlates with their winning percentage, and alas, with a .769 winning percentage, they have my interest officially piqued. But this caused an issue: I run a Detroit-sports based fan website/Instagram account, and I know close to nothing about the 2017-2018 Pistons. Now, back in the day, like most people in the mid-2000’s, I was a YUGE Stones fan. I watched every single game, knew every player on the team, their stats, their tendencies, and everything in between. No joke my AIM screen name for like a year was FearDaFro333.

But today, I got almost nothing besides naming a few players on the roster and knowing that Andre Drummond is pretty easy to make fun of. Seriously.

1. He had/has braces(?) I need to check and see if he still does, but he definitely did and that shits just funny. Sure, I could have found out before typing these words but I’m trying to be authentic with my 2017-18 Pistons knowledge.

2. He used to not be able to hit a free throw for the life of him. And in the one Stones game I’ve seen this year he went 0/7.

3. He did a rap video kinda thing wearing a Chicago Blackhawks hat.

There’s a photo of it, if you want to torture yourself with the video, it’s right here:

4. And last but certainly not least, when you Google “Andre Drummond” one of the top suggestions comes up as “Andre Drummond shoulder hair.” No joke, it’s a real thing.

Okay so yeah, that kinda turned into just a full on roast of the face of the Pistons franchise but whatever I couldn’t help it. I told you I don’t know much about them but one thing I do know is how to make fun of #0. I’m sure he’s a great player and I need to watch more to truly appreciate him and other guys like Tobias Harris and Avery Bradley. But for now I’m a fledgling bandwagon Pistons fan working mildly hard to learn more and actually contribute a legitimate thought to a Detroit Basketball conversation.

So tonight is a big game vs the Big Bad Bucks of Milwaukee and to show my support I’m going to bet on the boys to win on the road. If you’re curious how you can support, you can always buy the Champagne Athletics branded Stones t-shirt from our online store. Just a thought. #stones 🍾

– Frank

Buy some shit: http://champagneathletics.bigcartel.com/