There are too many outdoor NHL games. There are too many NHL outdoor games.

There are too many NHL outdoor games.

Great. Now that that is out of the way, we can get into why you came here.

The Red Wings are playing in their 4th outdoor game since 2009 in the New Year’s Day Centennial Classic. Over the organization’s roughly 91 years in existence, the team has seen very minimal adjustments or alterations to their logo, colors, or jersey design. An exception to this are these outdoor games.

First let’s review the outdoor games the Wings have played in…(**types into Google making sure he hasn’t let a game slip his mind annn—OH FUCK**)

The first outdoor game on record to feature an NHL team was attempted on February 2, 1954. The Detroit Red Wings played an exhibition game on an outdoor ice surface, in 21 °F (−6 °C) degree weather, against the Marquette Pirates, an athletic club composed of inmates at Michigan’s Marquette Branch Prison. The game, and the Pirates club, was allegedly organized as a way for Red Wings manager Jack Adams to make good with two convicted mafia members incarcerated at the prison. By the end of the first period alone, the Red Wings had amassed an 18–0 score against the prisoners; score keeping was abandoned after that point and the rest of the game effectively became an informal scrimmage. ~Wikipedia.

That is so insane I honestly don’t even know where to begin. So I’m not even going to try. Let’s try this again, let’s review the outdoor games the Wings have played in…

Winter Classic, 2009: Detroit Red Wings- 6 v Chicago Blackhawks- 4, Wrigley Field, Chicago, IL

Winter Classic, 2014: Toronto Maple Leafs- 3 v Detroit Red Wings- 2 (SO), Michigan Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI

Stadium Series, 2016: Detroit Red Wings- 5 v Colorado Avalanche- 3, Coors Field, Denver, CO

Centennial Classic, 2017: Detroit Red Wings v Toronto Maple Leafs, BMO Field, Toronto, ON

Wonderful. Now that we’re all caught up. Let’s move onto….

#4. Stadium Series, 2016

Oooooo man. Yeah see. *big inhale* hmm. Okay so by no means do I think they are completely putrid in the world of sports jerseys. BY NO MEANS. They are lit to a certain extent, but when comparing these to the jewel that is Red Wings apparel or even the other jerseys on this list, these are by far the bottom dwellers. The “D” encrusted on the front has like a half-assed Olde English feel but with a 2016 flair of Donald Trump’s hair. Then from there it just turned into panic mode.

I assume the design conversation went something like…

Let’s just fucking slap the Winged Wheel on the shoulders!

Both shoulders, right?

No! Just one! Alright, now make the numbers on the arms gigantic. Yeah, just fucking huge. That should do it. 

The design seems like it tried to be cool, then got lazy, then just said “fuck it” and beat the Av’s on the road in front of 50 thousand people. Ayyyyyyyy

I will admit, they did become better when accompanied by the entire uniform, and the white gloves with these bad boys was pretty fucking hot. But overall, a hard 4(th place).

#3. Centennial Classic, 2017

Now the reason I selected this photo without cropping out the Toronto side of the picture was because the people need to know that this is how both teams unveiled their Centennial Classic jerseys. On the right, you’ve got group of fully armored, battle tested, tundra ready, chiseled-grizzled NHL hockey playing WARRIORS braving the frigid temps to represent their city, the capitol of hockey, and grind for the game they love. Then on the left you have two local Michigan dudes rocking black slacks on a black background which brings into question the whereabouts of their legs, plus, they’re both boner cheesin’ with no pads on. Not to mention, they are both missing the sleeve numbers, Abby rocks an ‘A’ and the Wings PR team couldn’t manage to get either of those slapped on these silver stallions for this photoshoot. Meanwhile in Toronto they called in a whole photography team and eight designers to get this picture ready for announcement day.

As far as the jerseys go, the silver is kinda sleek, and I like that the Cup championship years are presented on the silver stripe. But it’s essentially the same Wings jersey with some silver sprinkled in. Meh.

#2. 2009 Winter Classic

Jesus Rollerblading Christ guys, just look at those two photos above. LOOK. Is that not a thing of beauty? The 2009 Red Wings with The Perfect Human as our captain, a younger but forever-sexy Zetterberg, and one of the most under-appreciated Wings defensemen of all time Brian Rafalski. God we were good mother fucking team then, even Ty Conklin is swaggin’ his shit out there. Now these, THESE, are hot threads. Scorching hot. Plus every uniformed design is better when you’re the defending Stanley Cup Champions. While nothing will ever top the Tigers’ Olde English D, this stylized version was very #LGRW. Clean, classic, two-colored jersey, proudly displaying our city on the front, and the greatest logo in professional sports on BOTH shoulders. A+.

#1. 2014 Winter Classic

Now, this was a tough decision between 2009 v 2014, but ultimately if we’re just looking at uniforms, and not the cast that wore the uni’s, you gotta go 2014 as top dawg. The dominant red is so imposing, and the decision to go with an off-white, cream-ish color as opposed to a clear white absolutely made the jerseys. It gave them an old school, olde tyme hockey feel which is exactly what you want when you have two Original Six rivals from different countries playing in front of the largest NHL crowd in history. The Winged Wheel slightly redesigned, with Detroit atop, and the C’s and A’s represented soccer style on the sleeves- Woooo boy you got daddy sweating over here. Not to mention, paired with Toronto in their blues and a decently heavy snow-fall, it was one of the most picturesque hockey scenes to date. Let’s forget that the boys lost 3-2 in a shootout that year, and focus more on how they’ll get a shot at redemption this year as the silver soldiers in the Motherland.

#LGRW

Oh, and PS- Babcock looked like a boss-a-holic at the two he participated in (09, 14).