Seeing A Deflated Matt Patricia With Broken Leg On The Opening Day Of Training Camp Is So Painfully Lions

Matt Patricia Detroit Lions
Last Updated: July 26, 2019By

2019 football season is officially here. And Detroit Lions head coach Matt Patricia is ready to FUCK.

BEEP BEEP FUCKERS WE’RE HERE TO TAKE THE NORTH.

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Now I’ve gone full slap daddy this year and truly believe the Lions can win the division for the first time since 1993, but having been a fan of this team for 25+ years I’m also 120% fully prepared to have my heart ripped out, stomped on, and be out of the playoff hunt by October. With that being said, seeing Matty P show up to training camp in the Hefty Hauler, thicc thigh perched up, looking completely broken on day one is not really the omen I was hoping for.

Matt Patricia Detroit Lions

Look at him. He looks like he’s over this season already and we haven’t even hit a full week yet. And what kinda of commanding presence can you have gimped up in the Club Car with a scrunched up ankle sock jammed over your foot covering your tippy toes so they don’t get chilly? He’s better off sitting at home with a camera on him and having a robot iPad meander around the practice field.

detroit lions matt patricia

I have no idea what happened. Thicc-tricia said he “had some shi-stuff cleaned up back there.” What does that actually mean? Who cares. Doesn’t matter. Our coach is chonk and now he sad. When we’re 1-3 and Green Bay is up 21-3 at half in Lambo week 6, remember this picture.

Matt Patricia Detroit Lions

#forward 🍾

Frank