Trump Murders Infant Ba– JK Wings have lost 4 straight.
Social media, the normal media, Facebook, and everything in between sucks right now. I’m so fucking sick of reading these god damn bogus headlines wildly swinging in every direction ranging from Trump Signs Bill Encouraging the Murder of Rare Wildlife Off The California Coastline to Trump’s New Cabinet Has Developed A Life Changing Vaccination For Severe Cases of Ass Cancer. All coming from websites likes AmmirikanE4gal.com and 3827p0lit1cs.zoom.
Fucking stop. Everyone fucking stop. Jesus Christ. Go outside, I don’t give a shit that it’s cold out. The cool air will feel good. Ride a bike. Climb a tree. Lay down in traffic. Just go live your lives. There are realer issues out there than the United States getting a new President…namely:
The Detroit Red Wings have lost 4 straight games and are now in dead last in the Atlantic Division heading into the All-Star break.
About a week ago, I wrote an overall positive article explaining why I believed that the Winged Wheelies had a chance and would inevitably make the playoffs. That VERY same night NBC Broadcaster and Executive Overblown Pile of Shit, Mike Milbury, essentially told the hockey world that the Wings need to get fucked and the Joe should follow suit. The Wings went on to win a dramatic come-from-behind thriller 6-5 in a shootout over Boston, and it looked as if it was a W that could vault the Wings into a strong stretch to close out the first half of the season.
From that point on the boys promptly lost the next three games in overtime and decided to get prison pounded by Toronto at home 4-0 for their first half grand finale last night. In addition to that, Zetterberg won’t stop wearing this Danny Cleary Hockey School hat and no one knows why.
I’m really trying not to flip flop my way through this entire season. I originally said I don’t have hope for the boys making it, then they beat Pitt and the Habs and it lit a fire under my ass and I believed again, and I really thought the W over the Bruins was the spark that was going to vault us into playoff contention. I mostly blame myself for the Buffalo loss because I REALLY intended to write an article entitled BEWARE THE BUFFS: TRAP GAME OF THE YEAR. And sure as shit it was. I think it may have been bad juju for calling out “sabersfan31” in my playoff streak article.
I didn’t write the Buffalo Trap Game article. I didn’t write the article because my Thursday night beer league hockey game ended up getting a little rowdier than expected and next thing I knew I was shot gunning Labatt’s at 1 am outside of a place called Tony’s Sports Pub and it’s a miracle I even made it work on time on Friday so the prospect of getting up early enough to bitch about how the Wings game vs Buffalo was a trap game was sorely damaged after that.
But I digress. Let’s enjoy witnessing Frans Nielsen stumble through All-Star Weekend while marveling at all the real all-star players from other teams we wish the Wings had. In addition don’t forget to tune into Tomas Tatar vacation with models on his Instagram story (@tomastatar_21) during the break while us Wings fans slowly die inside realizing the Wings have a long way to go if we ever want to get back to Cup contention.
#LGRW 🍾
– Frank