Buckle up!

Preseason, regular season, or Super Bowl: last night’s missed 62-yard field goal attempt turned 109-yard touchdown return for the Bucs as time expired in the first half was so whimsically, predictably, gut-wrenchingly Lions it gave most Detroit fans PTSD of the nightmarish past we have become so accustomed to. In a year where we have a new head coach (a Patriots, Belichick disciple), a beefed up run game, and arguably the best offensive line Detroit has seen in years- the preseason has been a little disheartening to watch thus far.

Hey, I hear you loud and clear- it’s only preseason, it’s only preseason, it’s only preseason. I am with everyone whole-heartedly on that train because I genuinely believe that none of this shit matters until the hot lights of Monday Night are burning bright in Detroit when we take on the New York Jets at Ford Field on September 10th. Remember 2008? Our Leo’s went 4-0 in preseason then proceeded to promptly lose 16 in a row in route to a defeated season.

But watching the end of that first half was actually mind-boggling. The poor time management capped off with Prater jogging out to attempt a 62-yarder in shitty wet conditions only to finally conclude with a no-name white guy housing us for 109 yards was a sight only Lions (and potentially Browns fans) could be accustomed to. A lot of publications and websites described the run as “explosive” or “electric” but if you watch the play, a lot of the Lions missed tackles were so dramatically bad they looked like they came out of a Adam Sandler movie.

Now I can see it both ways. Prater is a freak of nature and the greatest football player to ever strap on the pads. He’s a living, walking, breathing, kicking legend and Patricia realizes that. So Patricia probably said to himself something along the lines of:

“Fuck it, attempt one of the longest field goals in NFL history because you’re a big-dick-swinging boss of an NFL kicker and it’s preseason vs the Bucs- so who gives a shit? Worst case scenario some skinny wannabe Edelman takes it the entire length of the field and puts up 6 on us in a game that doesn’t count. I don’t give a fuck about the media anyways so if I get made fun of who cares. I’m Matt Patricia. I’m a three time Super Bowl Champion plus I’m like a rocket scientist or something. Gah-head Prater, letter rip.”

 

You know why I almost KNOW he was thinking those exact thoughts? Watch the video closely, he’s fighting off laughing when Humpries makes it into the end zone.

So the play is not the end of the world, not even close. But it was scary. Terrifying actually. And I think the Detroit football world is a little bit on edge because we have such a Patriot presence here that we believed things had to improve, and that they would improve dramatically and instantly. And plays like that, even in preseason, scares us tattered Lions fans half to death, especially with all the love Green Bay, Minnesota, and even Chicago are getting this preseason. Let’s pray it all turns September 10th. #forward 🍾

–Frank

PS- I know the Lions won the game 33-30, some late night heroics from practice squad fellas.